It is time that we as parents stood up and said enough is enough. I have over heard and had more conversations about parents struggling with the birthday party dilemma than I care to count. It comes from both sides the host and the guest so none of us are off the hook. What do I hear most about? Presents and loot bags.

My daughter has a birthday party at the end of the week and I decided to put my foot down on these two topics. Firstly no new gifts. We stated on the invitation that guests were to give away something they didn’t use much anymore and thought my daughter might like, or to make her something or to find something somewhere to give her. We don’t really care where so long as it didn’t cost you much, isn’t cheap garbage and isn’t covered in plastic.

I’ve heard lots of variations on this such as book parties, SPCA donations, secret santa etc etc. And rightly so good on you parents. What kid needs 10 more $10 toys that will barely be played with because of their busy schedule and having too many already? I would much rather see that $10 spend on supper for their family. Heck if your child has a busy social life you can be looking at a significant expense just to attend birthday parties every month!

Second those darn loot bags. A fellow blogger put it best when she said ‘Stop the loot bag insanity!’ I know you agree with me. The plastic dollar store ‘goodies’ that your child revels in for all of about 3 minutes until after they are out the door. I’ve seen lots of parents get creative with this one and all the power to you parents! Good on you I say. Every time my daughter comes home with more plastic and candy I breathe a heavy sigh knowing where it ultimately will end up.

This year we are having a croquet and tea party with the girls. It is all very sophisticated and fancy for six year olds and they are tickled with excitement. What will the ladies be taking home with them? Why nothing less than a small token from their hostess: small packages of sun tea and a few crocus bulbs to put in their garden.  I had thought about cookies and tea also or making all of the girls a pretty skirt to take home (it is what I do so it’s simple for me to say that).

Themed treats that can be integrated into the party are also a great idea, projects they made while there or something to remember the experience. Kids don’t need to go home empty handed. I remember one year a friend had the kids make magnetic picture frames and as each of their parents showed to pick them up she snuck a picture from the party into the frame! She took pictures the whole time and snuck off to print them as party favors.

We have put so much pressure on ourselves as parents in recent years. To do more, buy more, be the best and make it all picture perfect. It is nice to see that trend is starting to wear off. I encourage you to break the birthday party mold and be creative with your party so that it reflects you and your child’s beliefs. Teach them that a party is about more than ‘what did you get?’

PS – We also didn’t invite every kid in the class. I know, I know, for shame on us but I can’t host 20 kids and besides my daughter isn’t friends with every one in her class. We invited six kids because that is how old she is. That was the norm when I was in school and you collectively as a peer group knew that was how parties worked. A six year old’s social circle is only so big after all.

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